Healing in Circles: The Power of Group Connection
A guest blog by Chris Braitch of Seen & Heard
Octopus Psychology offer individual therapy to people recovering from childhood abuse and neglect. However, connecting with those with similar experiences can also be a significant part of the healing journey. We invited Chris Braitch – Emotional Health Coach and Co-Founder of Seen & Heard to tell us about the powerful contribution peer support groups can make to recovery in this guest blog.
No one should have to heal alone.
When people come together in a supportive circle, an almost magical thing happens – loneliness begins to dissolve, and hope takes its place. Whether you grew up with early trauma from boarding school like our service users at Seen & Heard, experienced the instability of foster care, silently coped as the child of an alcoholic, or were not seen, heard and recognised for your uniqueness and gifts to the world, sharing your story with others who truly get it can be life changing. Adverse childhood experiences often leave deep scars of isolation and misunderstanding, that can be wrapped in shame, but in community those wounds can finally start to mend. As the saying goes…”relational trauma can only be healed relationally”, and that was certainly my experience during my breakdown, and breakthrough, 5 years ago.
From Isolation to Understanding
One of the cruel legacies of childhood trauma is the feeling that “I am the only one.” Many ex-boarding school pupils, for example, were told they were “privileged” and should just get on with it – leading them to bury feelings of abandonment and heartbreak. Psychotherapist Joy Schaverien even coined the term “boarding school syndrome” to describe the hidden trauma of early separation behind a stiff-upper-lip façade. Children learn to hide their true feelings (after all, “tears simply are not permitted” in that environment), and as adults they may struggle with trust, intimacy, or feeling “alone, even in a group of people.” The same is often true for those who grew up in care, with addicted parents or who had a battleground childhood for whatever reason – you might have felt different, ashamed, or convinced that no one in “normal” life could understand your childhood. This isolation can follow you for years.
Yet, healing happens together, not apart. Because so much harm occurred in relationships (or in their absence), it’s through relationships that we heal. When you sit in a circle of people who share similar wounds, something shifts. You see nods of empathy instead of confusion or judgment. You hear “me too” and realize your pain is not strange or isolated. In a supportive group, survivors transform healing into a shared journey rather than a solitary struggle. Simply put, what was unbearable to face alone becomes bearable together.
Why Group Sharing Heals
In a group or circle, everyone gets to be seen and heard – sometimes for the first time ever. The environment is safe, confidential, and grounded in mutual respect. There is no pressure to perform or put on a brave face. In fact, groups often encourage dropping the masks we wear in daily life. For instance, MenSpeak Men’s Groups invite men to let go of the “nice guy” or “macho man” personas “so we can show up, exploring who we really are… rather than having to show off.” In these circles, authenticity replaces pretension. Little by little, trust grows as we realize we can speak our truth without being judged or dismissed.
Crucially, you don’t even have to share to benefit – just listening can spark healing. As we often remind newcomers at Seen & Heard, “even if you don’t want to speak or share, it can be extremely powerful to witness and hear others.”Hearing someone else put words to an experience you thought “only happened to me” is liberating. This is the healing relief of discovering you’re not alone. Instead of silently carrying the burden, you see it reflected in another’s story, and suddenly it’s lighter. Group members frequently describe feeling a weight off their shoulders when they hear others voice the very feelings they’ve long held inside.
Being part of a supportive group also creates a ripple effect of hope and learning. In sharing circles, people trade coping strategies and hard-earned wisdom. They cheer each other on. Over time, members start to internalize the encouragement and reclaim power over their own lives. As one participant described, attending a group felt like “press-ups for the mind and circuit training for the soul.” In other words, sharing in a circle exercised emotional muscles he didn’t even know he had, leaving him stronger and lighter than before.
The Gifts of Healing Together
When a group is facilitated with care, it can unlock profound benefits for each person in the circle. Here are just a few of the healing gifts that people report from group connection:
Belonging and Relief: A sense of connection with others and a feeling of being less alone. Finally, you are among people who get it. That realization alone often releases a huge sigh of relief – you are no longer an outsider with a secret.
Honesty and Authenticity: A place to be totally honest about how you are feeling, often for the first time. Many of us who’ve experienced early trauma learned to hide our true feelings. In a compassionate group, those emotional walls can come down. People speak their innermost thoughts and find it unbelievably liberating.
Empowerment and Hope: A feeling of taking responsibility – a sense of empowerment over your life. As you share and listen, you may start to see your story in a new light – not as a victim, but as a survivor who can take action to heal. Group members often report feeling more in control and hopeful about their future.
Friendship and Support: Genuine friendship, community and support form as the group bonds. The people you meet may become allies beyond the sessions – folks you can reach out to on a hard day and celebrate victories with on a good day. Knowing others have your back makes the journey far less daunting.
All these benefits can be truly life changing. For some, joining a circle is simply about finding connection during a rough patch; for others, it marks the start of a profound healing journey. In every case, there is something powerful about the shared humanity in these groups. We laugh together, cry together, and grow together. Over time, that camaraderie helps to reverse the damage of past isolation. Healing in community builds resilience and helps people rebuild self-worth and envision new possibilities for their lives.
Join a Circle of Healing (You’re Invited!)
If you or someone you care about has been carrying the kinds of experiences we’ve described, there will be a group out there for you.
For example, at Seen & Heard, we offer FREE online sharing groups (via Zoom) to people affected by the boarding and independent school system. Facilitated by experienced, trauma-informed facilitators. These are not formal therapy sessions, but rather safe spaces to be seen and heard – exactly as you are.
We currently run several groups to ensure everyone can find a comfortable fit, including:
Mixed-Gender Sharing Groups: Open to any adult who attended a boarding or independent school.
Women’s Sharing Group: A dedicated space for female-identifying ex-pupils to connect and share.
Men’s Sharing Group: A supportive circle for male-identifying ex-pupils to drop the mask and open up.
Partners & Families Group: For spouses, partners, or family members of ex-pupils, who often have their ownjourney of understanding and healing.
All groups are completely free of charge and meet regularly online. You can join from anywhere in the world. We keep them small and intimate, so advance registration is required. And remember, even if you’re feeling nervous, you’re welcome to come along and just listen. Many attendees have found that simply witnessing others’ stories can be a powerful start to their healing.
There are many other groups out there, too many to name here, but some we work with closely are:
The Mankind Project UK & Ireland
You are not alone.
There’s a circle of understanding hearts ready to welcome you. Healing is not only possible – it’s probable when we come together in community. As someone who has walked this path myself, I’ve seen firsthand the transformations that occur when people no longer carry their burdens alone. We invite you to experience the warmth, acceptance, and strength of our sharing groups. Your story matters, and in circles, every voice is valued. Come as you are and let the power of connection help you heal.
Chris Braitch – Emotional Health Coach and Co-Founder, Seen & Heard (www.seenheard.org.uk)
